Hurt
The white burning sand
The ocean’s cold roar
I know that I have
Been out here before
Ages ago
When I was in love
And when I had nothing
To be afraid of
I sat on these dunes
I played in this surf
I had hopes and dreams
And I knew my worth
Everything then
Seemed better and new
Because I had passion
And because I had you
The food tasted fresher
I felt free and loose
I had not these worries
And I held not this noose
This Burgeoning burden
That I now must bear
Was not yet conceived of
And I was not prepared
To let it sit there
For the rest of my days
But now all seems hopeless
Because of how much it weighs
It seems that there’s not
One fiber in me
That cares if I’m trapped
Or if I get free
I know that I’m damaged
But to what extent
I’m afraid if I look
I’ll aid my descent
My descent into chaos
The descent of my dreams
The descent of my sanity
Six feet under it seems
I feel overwhelmed
With a spear in my chest
When it hurts this bad
It’s hard to invest
Any strength or emotion
Into anything I do
Because I don’t have passion
And I don’t have you
It seems that there’s not
One fiber I own
That cares if I’m skewered
By whatever was thrown
I know that I should
Take out the spear head
But won’t it leave holes,
That hurt more instead?
It feels worth it to me
To leave it in there a while
Who cares if it hurts
Or if I can’t smile
It’s like a part of me now
That I can’t live without
And if I remove it
I might just log out
Log out of my consciousness
And log out of my life
And log into a casket
To log out of this strife
I feel pain where I shouldn’t
It’s on the inside of me
And I can’t bandage
Or fix it to any degree
White and red blood cells
Try to rush to the spot
To patch up my heart
But a wound there is not
I guess that this hurting
Is deeper than flesh
And if I want it to heal
I’ll just have to rest
Forget about red
And forget about blue
Forget about passion
And forget about you
Because I can’t forgive
Until I forget
And I cannot live
Until I’m free of regret
I’ll bag all my hatred
That belongs to you
And all of the love
I’ll throw that out too
When at last I move on
To the other side
The grass could be greener
Or it could have died
For all that I care
It can simply be dirt
To rub on my wounds
And pretend I don’t hurt